Let that shit go…
I’ve had a situation buzzing about in my head and working it’s way into my life for way too long. My subconscious has been giving me indicators that I’ve had enough. Little signs, things which would ordinarily have bothered me, didn’t. I began to see truth, I began to see lies and more importantly I wasn’t bothered by any of it.
Previously, I’d been so keen to make this project work, that I’d missed the curve balls and the hoops I’d been throwing myself through. Suddenly I hit the wall, “Holy crap woman, what the hell have you been doing to yourself? Why are you tolerating this utter nonsense?” Admittedly, this was a bit of a shock to the system, there’s nothing like seeing all your dirty washing, laid out in front of you to make you really take stock of a situation and the impact it’s having on your life.
I suppose the process begins unconsciously. It starts with little niggling questions, doubts and a quest for the truth. As a coach, you learn the knack of asking particular questions, questions that you may indeed already know the answers to. The answers provide confirmation, to your inner sat nav, that you’re on the right track and sometimes even if you’re not conscious of asking the questions, the same thoughts keep cropping up. Call it coincidence, universal indicators, signs, 6th sense whatever you will, but they amount to the same thing… it’s time!
Somewhere, somehow, I’d processed the ins and outs of the stuff that was going on for me and woken up to the fact that I didn’t have to tolerate the half arsed BS I’d been allowing. The decision, when it came, the realisation that things could and would be different, was so simple and so easy that it was a total no-brainer. And, in this moment, I also realised, that I’d always had the choice to see things in this way. I’d always had far more control than I’d realised. I just needed a bit of space to get my shit together.
Sometimes we push hard for change. We decide we need something and want so badly that the pushing can be the very thing that keeps us stuck. This time of year is classic for that. We’re reflective, picking over the hopes and dreams that may have been dashed and looking slightly more pensively at the future and in that, become more gung-ho and determined to hit the next year with a roar. The adrenaline rush of that initial push can feel amazing, but rarely is it the momentum we need to carry things through. Some things maybe take a little longer to hatch than others.
But, when they do and you finally see… When you finally notice the lightness of your load and realise that you discarded some seriously unnecessary bleugh. When you notice the space in your head and that you’ve let go of the anger and the bitterness, the resentment and the constant pull on your self esteem, because you always knew, deep down inside that you deserved more.. When you notice all that, I reckon you’ve let that shit go!