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The beginning of the year is always a bit Meh isn’t it?
My Facebook feed is full of people deciding that this year is going to be wildly different than the previous one and that’s great, if that’s you, then I wish you all the luck in the world. However as a coach, what I see is that generally people feel a bit flat at this time of year. The energy feels a bit off and well having partied our legs off, shocked our livers and potentially maxed out our credit cards, well it just feels like a good chance to have a complete chill out. To get back into a decent sleep pattern, to cut back on our spending and eat some decent food rather than existing on Twiglets and Midget Gems… please say that’s not just me?
Clients tell me that they try the ‘New and Improved’ clean slate approach, whilst traditional at the beginning of January, doesn’t feel the most natural time of year to begin again, after all the days are cold, the nights are dark and motivation, for most of us lies thin on the ground. So who said the only time to begin again or to switch life up was at the beginning of the year?
I for one, think the onset of spring, albeit we may only be able to just about see the nights getting longer, is a much better time. The air feels ripe with ideas and possibilities. What better time to turn dreams into plans and new ideas for the future? With that in mind and to give you all a jump start, I have discounted the rates of my 1:1 private coaching sessions during the month of February. I don’t often do this, because to be honest, my sessions are always pretty full.
However, because I love doing this work and know that everyone likes a bargain, I’m offering sessions at a whopping 50% off and at the discounted rate of £95.00 until 28th February 2017 (T&C’s apply). Details available here on the website: http://www.myreddelicious.com/1-to-1
This week’s blog is all about the values and beliefs we hold and how they affect our behaviour.
Have a read, see what you think. http://www.myreddelicious.com/2017/02/09/cant-help-way-feel/ If you haven’t already checked out the ‘free stuff’ available on my website, then you need to get over there now and download your copy of my ebook 10 Reasons Why Botox Won’t Get You Laid: Every Woman’s guide to recapturing their inner truth and sass, whilst ditching the ridiculous stories we all tell ourselves! Download your copy here: http://www.myreddelicious.com/free-stuff/
Until next time ladies
Katherine xxRead More
Are you thinking like me, FFS! It’s nearly Christmas?
I’ve a shed load of stuff to do and to organise, I’ve got work deadlines coming out of my ears and a credit card which I am relying on to be my “Flexible Friend.” Not forgetting the monumental task of producing some festive magic, seemingly out of nowhere.
I have 3 teenagers who some days seem to exhaust themselves with just one grunt, yet would be devastated if I didn’t arrange for Father Christmas to draw his sleigh on our rooftop on the 24th.
I’ve also got to fit some time in to do that mammoth food shop and fight for sprouts, fresh cream and a ton of other stuff that nobody will actually eat, but that everyone buys ‘just in case.’ I’ve to cook, socialise, visit family AND take some time to relax, cos all the magazines tell me that I should be looking after myself too…
AND EVEN WRITING THIS, I BEGIN TO FEEL THE SLIGHT PALPITATION OF OVERWHELM
I’m probably very much like you…. I think I’m superwoman, especially at this time of year. I’m inclined to try and run on on all cylinders, whilst wearing glittery shoes, carry a lap-top and notebook and only fuelled by the odd glass of mulled wine and a mince pie.
Now the ridiculous thing about this survival plan, is that it really isn’t designed to help me survive at all, infact, it’s more guaranteed to have me fighting off bad skin, exhaustion a threatening cold and the dreaded overwhelm.
At this time of year, we almost expect that we will take on too much and despite my pleas to the contrary here, you’ll probably do similar again. But there’s an enormous difference in between being productive and busy and turning into an arsey cow because you’ve got SOOOO much to do.
The trick to dealing with overwhelm is, like many things, having a plan. i must confess, I’m not a natural planner, I’m more of a
fly by the seat of your pants kinda girl.
But I’m also the kind of girl who has been overwhelmed, stresses and still up at 3am wrapping presents, ready for the 5am role call of “He’s been…”
SO ASIDE FROM HAVING A PLAN, HERE ARE MY TOP 10 TIPS FOR STAYING OUT OF OVERWHELM…
1.MAKE A LIST –A proper list Yes, I know you can keep it all in our head, but this way you can see what you’ve done and what is still to do and you won’t forget anything.
2. EDIT THE LIST – Everything feels important at this time of year, but let’s have a little reality check. Are all these tasks as important as you’re thinking, could you perhaps buy a cake as opposed to marking up your entry for next years GBBO? Would anyone notice?
3. DELEGATE SOME OF THE LIST – Get other people involved. Another classic for us perfectionists is the ‘Nobody can do it like me. I like it just so.’
4. SET PHONE REMINDERS Sometimes the days and the weeks just run away with us and we genuinely forget. This is a great way to ensure you prioritise the important stuff. School play, lst posting date, collect the turkey from the butchers… 5. AVOID THE NEED TO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT – Yes I know that this is a difficult one, even more so at christmas time. However, practising perfectionism, really is a sure fire way of making yourself miserable. 6.YOU DONT HAVE TO ATTEND EVERY PARTY YOU’RE INVITED TO – FOMO (Fear of missing out) is a real thing these days. Working or socialising to the extreme because you’re worried that you may miss something vital if you’re not there is an exhausting process and guaranteed to take it’s
7. PLAN SOME GOOD STUFF – Sometimes in the anticipation of an event we forget to enjoy the run up or consider it to be all work and ‘must-dos” Factor in some stuff which makes you feel good on the inside. Go to a carol concert and sing your head off. Volunteer and give something back. Plan some real cosy time… see the Danish idea of Hygge. Make a consious effort to take time out, even if it’s only 10 minutes to grab a coffee or a cup of tea…. Set a phone reminder to make sure you do it.
8. WATCH WHAT YOU EAT – I’m not talking about finishing the Quality Street or the ability to finish more than 1 mince pie in a sitting; but high carb, high sugar, high alcohol diets will add to feelings of stress and overwhelm. I know that they’re the quick fix of choice when we’re busy and it’s dead easy to over indulge without even noticing. However over indulgence leads to headaches, sluggishness, tiredness, inability to focus, I’m not saying don’t, because we all know that ain’t going to happen and anyone who knows me, would be howling at the very idea. I’m just saying be aware, notice what you’re doing.
9. BE WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU SMILE – At this time of year, we see lots of people because we feel obligated, because we feel we should! If those people hoover your mood, dampen your spirits or generally piss you off, perhaps you need to ask yourself why? (Family members are exempt from this – you have to suck that one up, with your best smile and an additional sherry as a reward!) But seriously, spend time with people who make you feel good. Smiling and laughing is proven to increase endorphins – our happy hormones, and to reduce stress levels.
10. BREATHE REMEMBER IT’S ONLY 1 DAY – And if that doesn’t work, a glass of wine! Mine’s a large one!
See You Soon
KATHERINE XXRead More
So, you’re probably wondering where the hell I’ve been. What have I been doing? Where did all the promises of this fabulous blog go? And what if anything have you signed up for?
Ok, so I have a confession. A real confession, one that makes me cringe to admit, mainly because I should know better, but here we go….
Firstly I have to apologise. Going Awol, isn’t really my style, but then I guess we all have our shit to handle every now and then. So here it is, my confession, my shit…. I am a recovering perfectionist. Actually perhaps lets lose the ‘recovering’ on this occasion! I am a perfectionist! There said it!!
So, I sent out that first news letter way back when. I know you all loved it, because you told me you did and thank you so much for that, I really appreciated it! It’s hard to put something out there for the first time without really knowing what people might say about you! So, it was great to hear from so many of you!!
With all that in mind, you’d think I’d be raring to go for the next one wouldn’t you? Well I was, I really was! But, I decided that the next one had to be better, much better. It had to have a new design, a new layout, it had to contain more information, more juicy bits, the video had to be better, I could brush up on the editing. I had to say more, give more value, pass on more tips, be better, do more, work harder. More bells, more whistles, more jazz hands – oh this one was going to be so cool, you were all going to be talking about it for days, weeks, months even! Ohhh yes I had big plans for this newsletter!
Actually I think I may need to say that twice! HA HA!!
Obviously nothing happened! No, that’s not strictly true, lots happened – but on the inside, the inside of me! I totally screwed myself over in the search for the perfect newsletter. I’d set my bar so high that I was never in a month of Sunday’s going to achieve what I set out to achieve! Yes, of course we should all have high standards, goals and dreams, however, where we have to be very careful, is that we don’t fall into the trap of giving ourselves so much to do that we become trapped by procrastination and fear. And yes you’ve guessed it, that’s exactly where I had found myself. In the Procrastination Pit!
The Procrastination Pit is the place where I questioned everything I did. Was it good enough? Was it on point? Would you all like it? What if you didn’t? What if you hated it? What if it was rubbish? Maybe I should just start again! Yes! That would be the best idea – I’ll start again. Now if I had a pound for every time I ran that loop in my head, I’d be wealthy lady! But sadly, The Procrastination Pit is also a payment free zone!
So what happened? How did I manage to end up totally sabotaging myself with fear and procrastination? Simples – I decided that what I was doing wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough. Nothing was good enough!
When you find yourself here, at the bottom of the pit, there are two choices, sit and wallow and pick at the situation, or, find yourself a ladder and haul your arse out of there! Believe me I did a fair bit of the first before I even saw what I was doing and thought about moving onto the second.
There are two points to my story. I’m a coach, I deal with this stuff all the time, yet I missed it in myself. I missed what I was doing. So, I wondered if I missed these signs of self sabotage, then perhaps you may miss them too – easily done when you get closely involved, when you’re passionate about something or someone. Sometimes you need to take time out to check in with you! Check out if the story that’s running through your head is actually true, or if it should perhaps start “Once upon a time…” You know in your gut in something is off kilter, you know if you take the time to listen to your truth. But, truth is often a very quiet voice easily drowned by the clamour of life and busyness, by the need to do more and be more. Slow down and take time to listen, take time out from the chaos, it’s usually where the best answers are, not in the trying and pushing harder, which is instinctively what we seem to do in times of stress and worry.
My second point is based around the idea of feeling the fear. Or maybe as the late Susan Jeffers says, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” See, much of what held me back, was the fear. The fear of what if…… Procrastination, faffing, generally coming up with a hundred valid reasons (excuses) not to do something, is all fear based stuff – and that could be anything from producing a newsletter to ending a relationship. From leaving a job you hate through to sorting your finances. We all have or own stuff. The trick is, to find out which one is yours. To notice your faffing, your putting things off. The need to make things bigger and better in an attempt to distract yourself from the original issue. To not then be scared to peel back the edges and wonder what is going on underneath! To face your fear! What was I scared of? Well that’s another story – you don’t get all my secrets in one go!!Read More